I’ve noticed a lot of little things around the office lately that have been very grating on my nerves. Nothing big, but, at the end of a long, stressful day, it all adds up.
So, I’ve come up with the following 8 Principles of Work Place Ethics:
- Never, ever, ever, ever, ever take the elevator up or down a single floor unless you have a physical ailment. Even up or down two floors is debatable. Seriously, theres no reason you cant hike up or down 20 stairs. Besides getting some much needed exercise, youll avoid the death stares of the people who dont appreciate you interrupting and slowing their justifiable elevator trip.
- Replace the paper towel roll if you use the last sheet. This is so common sense that it shouldnt need to be included on the list. Unfortunately, common sense and common courtesy simply arent common enough. Dont be selfish. Throw out the empty roll, reach up into the cabinet, unwrap the next roll, and put the fresh paper towels out for the next person to use.
- Dont pee all over the toilet seat. Everyone misses once in a while; nobodys ever 100% at everything they do. Knowing this, if you get a little bit of moisture on the toilet seat, be courteous and wipe up after yourself. Actually, why are you peeing with the toilet seat down in the first place?!?
- If you drink the last cup of coffee, brew another pot. This, like the paper towel rule, falls under not-so-common common sense and common courtesy. Itll take you just a minute or two to get everything situated, and the next person to go in to grab coffee will be very appreciative. As a side note: unless you have a legit medical reason, dont drink decaf coffee. Its nothing more than impotent swill.
- Never take up more than one parking space. I dont care how nice your 7 series BMW is, or how fast your new Mustang can go. Theres plenty of space within your single parking space to provide a nice force field protecting your car from door dings. Just because you drive a nice car doesnt mean youre allotted more space than dudes like me who drive Dodge Neons.
- Step outside to take personal calls. If you have an office door, close it. Otherwise, for the rest of us working stiffs stuck in cubes, grab your cell, walk out the door and then proceed to talk about why your boyfriend broke up with you, or discuss the awful things you did last night when you had one too many Jager Bombs. Because most people have the need to scream into their phones (especially cell phones) in order to have intimate conversations, you should probably know that nobody else gives a crap about your stories. Please spare us.
- Stop shilling your kids cookies or school fundraising crap. When you push your kids fundraising junk youre a jerk because you make the rest of us feel obligated to buy stuff so that we dont look like the jerk. Ive already got 18,000 boxes of thin mints in my freezer because I buy stuff from my family (a legitimate obligation). Ive done my part, now leave me alone.
- The recycle bin and the trash can are two completely different things. There’s no reason for you to throw your trash into the recycle bin, and there’s no reason your aluminum cans and plastic bottles should end up in the garbage. I know many times the two bins are put right next to each other, but, seriously, it’s not that confusing!
Get everyone in the office onboard with these rules and youll find yourself in a much more happy, productive and efficient workplace. If you cant get everyone onboard, then you have the easy targets to start rumors about at the water cooler.
What are your thoughts? Have any other rules youd like listed? Lets start a petition to get these rules internationally recognized.